Everybody has ups and downs in life. I also faced several difficulties after completing high school. Just after completing grade twelve, I was not expecting that I might have to make some bold decisions, and those decisions would pave the path for my future. Yet, I managed to make decisions on my own; some were successful, and some left me alone with bitter experiences. I am still waiting to taste the sweet nectar produced by my good decisions and determinations.
On the second day of completing the board exams of grade 12, I joined MBBS entrance exam preparation, as there were a few months to publish the result. While joining the MBBS entrance exam course, my friends enjoyed travelling to new places and exploring opportunities to continue their education further. Furthermore, I was preparing for medical entrance, which I was not sure if I was appearing for or not. Despite my hard work and dedication, I got a CGPA of D in Physics and failed Chemistry. This shook me that hard; I froze for a few days thinking about what to do now. I was in a dilemma between further pursuing preparation for the entrance exam or preparing for the re-exam to clear my backlog. Eventually, I quit the MBBS entrance preparation and started preparing for my re-exam, and I cleared it, even though I was under stress.
It took me two months to escape my traumas; then, with great enthusiasm, I joined an IELTS class to pursue my career overseas. Initially, I did not have any conversations with my parents, and later, my parents didn't allow me to go abroad. They were so attached to and obsessed with me, as I was their first and special child among my siblings. I do not know why, but it is true. Due to the advice from my parents, I joined B. Ed. (specialisation in English) on a campus near my house in Kailali. But the environment there was surrounded by dissatisfied and hopeless people. That drove me towards career frustration and demotivation for life. As a result, I stopped attending classes and eventually quit that too. At that stage of my life, I was a hopeless, ambitionless, and frustrating teenager.
My parents were silent for some time, observing me. Later, my father conceded, “If going abroad makes you happy, then go for it. We’re with you”. Those words were like a warm hug that I was desperately waiting for. Then, with great joy, I called my friend in Kathmandu to find me a hostel near Putalisadak to attend class conveniently. After a week, I went back to Kathmandu with the hope of achieving my dream to study abroad and started IELTS class. I studied for a month, and I thought of taking an IELTS. I did well enough to get an acceptance letter from Canadian institutions. I did all the preparation for Canada and then applied for a visa to study there. But my fate didn't favour me, and my visa was rejected. Just after joining the IELTS class, I also joined an educational consultancy as an intern and worked there. After 3 months, I was promoted to business development officer and was given many responsibilities to handle. At the same time, I joined a BA (Sociology and English) at a public college in Putalisadak with the help, advice, motivation, and encouragement from two of my seniors, who were more like elder brothers to me.
As the classes were already stopped, I started studying at home on my own. That was going well. But God cursed me again with frustration. Despite the support and well-wishes of my family, friends, and those two brothers, I started feeling anxious and frustrated about my career as one of my dearest friends, whom I was studying with since grade one, headed to Japan to pursue his education. Then the worst phase of my life began. I was just living my life without any purpose. I was like the cloud in William Wordsworth's poem that wandered lonely. Wake up, go to work, and come back home and sleep. Additionally, repeating this cycle every day for 2-3 months. During this time, those two brothers always tried to cheer me up and motivate me to do well in my life. But that wasn’t working. I was trying to find a way to escape all these things and start my academic journey again from scratch.
Days passed.
One day my father called and told me that his maternal uncle’s son was talking about a new dual degree in English that had started at KU. I was frustrated and wanted to escape my current life. I was excited to join that course without knowing anything, only full of hope that this might take all my frustrations and help me restart. I instantly replied, “Yes” to my father. Then I came to KUSOED for the first time, appeared in the entrance exam, and finally met Dr. Siddhartha Dhungana. When I talked to him, then only I got to know about the BA-B.Ed course and its scope for the future in detail. I was worried about the results of the entrance exam. My luck favoured me, and I got my admission and started studying.
Then I started studying at KUSOED. As I was in the classroom after a huge gap, I felt both excited and worried about my future. After four days, I got an internship opportunity at the Department of Language Education. Then, without even thinking for a moment, I accepted it and started working 4 hours daily to reciprocate the routine of my past days.
After spending a couple of months here at KUSOED, I am gaining hope and a clear vision of my life: becoming a better version of a teacher who can teach the Beta generation. With all these things in my head, I am restarting my academic journey again with great courage and enthusiasm and will prove that I am not done yet. Just like John Cena, the person whom I have admired since my childhood, I will never give up.
*KU= Kathmandu University
*KUSOED- Kathmandu University School of Education
Author:
Lovedev Sharma
Undergraduate Student
BA (English Studies) & B.Ed. (TESOL)
Kathmandu University, School of Education
📧 Email: l@lovedev.com.np | lovedevsharma477@gmail.com
📞 Mobile: +977-9840629598
🌐 Website: www.lovedev.com.np
"Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is." – Shree Krishna
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